"Ever met a nice Scotsman? Me neither. I mean Armando Iannucci, Lou Macari and Wattie out of Exploited (get well soon) seem okay, though I wouldn't want to live next door to any of them, but the rest? Buckfast-slurping, sheep-stomach-scoffing, heart-attack-having, currency-stealing cry-babies.
I jest, of course. I wouldn't mind having Armando, Lou, Wattie or indeed most other Scots folk living next door. In fact - that's what they do, isn't it? They live next door, our slightly more emotive, less rational neighbours - except their house is a bit draughty and they keep popping in to borrow a tenner till giro-day. Or as they call it in Calton: brew day…”
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