Mark Liam Piggott

#OutofOfficeQuotes 20: "...Even the Witnesses refuse to come in when he's home alone"

#OutofOfficeQuotes 19: "Hook holds up his palm like Knut"

#OutofOfficeQuotes 18: "...The mocking columns, jokes on Mock the Week..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 17: "There isn't much shade round the stadium..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 16: "...Except the balloon dance on Tiswas..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 15: "He can recall no obvious startling or transitory moments..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 14: "...Hook thinks he hears the word 'miscegenation'."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 13: "It's a bad sign he can feel his liver at all..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 12: "...go in search of company, swarming with impotent fury..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 11: "Closing one's eyes, ears and mouths to the opinions of one's new comrades...

#OutofOfficeQuotes 10: "Multi-culturalism for the left means tolerating intolerance..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 9: "What does he care if his taxes perpetuate fairytales?"

#OutofOfficeQuotes 8: "Hook flicks his indicator..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 7: "...The intimate geography of a Koyaanisqatsi out-take..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 6: "What was it Orwell said in Homage to Catalonia..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 5: "...He finds a gloryhole cinema off wheezing Leicester Square..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 4: "Hook feels something must give..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 3: "He imagines the planet's a gigantic bowling-ball..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 2: "The Trumps are holding a barbecue..."

#OutofOfficeQuotes 1: "He's a stewardess on a 737 into JFK..."