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Pulling a pint at the Rovers Return

I'm the author of three novels, “Out of Office” and “Fire Horses" (both published by Legend Press), my new comic novel "Kidology," and a collection of short stories and creative non-fiction, "Militant Factions."  I've had dozens of major features in the Times, Sunday Times, Guardian, Independent, Mail, Express, Telegraph and many more. Email me at:

[email protected]


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The perils of being a World Cup widower: my latest Sunday Express column

Posted on July 8, 2018 at 6:05 AM


"Now, I’m as much of an England fan as the next man (if the next man is Jean-Claude Juncker) but to be honest, after three solid weeks the novelty of watching...

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"Being a northerner is a state of mind" my latest column in today's Sunday Express

Posted on July 1, 2018 at 5:25 AM


"When a Newcastle academic called me a southerner recently I almost choked on my mushy peas. "Tripe!" I muttered. When my wife had handed me my tripe I had to resist the temptation to kick a whippet. Then I remembered it's only Northerners who are prone to sudden acts of irrational violence; as a ...

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World Cup Special: "Psycho Blitzkrieg" now available on Amazon

Posted on June 11, 2018 at 3:15 PM

In order to "celebrate" (ahem) England's guaranteed success at the World Cup Finals in Russia, why not read my surreal short story, "Psycho Blitzkrieg", about hooligans on the rampage on a terrifying new drug.

Here's a sample:

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My latest GIDSS Report from London: Clueless, Friendless, Lacking Vision But Theresa May Will Remain Prime Minister

Posted on June 4, 2018 at 6:40 AM


"Any doubts that UK Prime Minister Theresa May doesn't have a clue what she is doing have been well and truly dispelled by her Sunday Times column earlier in May. We now know for certain that the Prime Ministe...

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"The future generation is utterly baffling" - my latest parenting blog for the Independent

Posted on May 28, 2018 at 7:35 PM


"Older people have been moaning about younger people since Aristotle, but it does seem the generation gap has widened in recent decades – due partly to ...

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Report from Windsor: Fairytale Royal Wedding Sets Back UK Republican Movement by 50 Years

Posted on May 21, 2018 at 1:25 PM

"Dysfunctional relatives, dodgy paparazzi deals, B-list TV celebrity, divorce, death, and tragedy: surely Meghan Markle knew what she was getting into when she entered into ...

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"I live in a five bedroom council house which I don't need..." My latest feature at The Independent

Posted on May 12, 2018 at 9:30 AM


"No-one should be forced to move just because their circumstances have changed, but many tenants would like to downsize to escape the effects of the bedroom ...

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My latest GIDSS Report from London: What Do the Elections Really Mean?

Posted on May 11, 2018 at 7:15 PM

"It's just as well there are still four years until the next (scheduled) general electi...

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Is Britain drifting towards the rocks? My latest GIDSS feature

Posted on May 5, 2018 at 11:15 AM


"It sometimes feels like the island of Great Britain is floating on stormy waters, its incompetent captain powerless to prevent mutiny, drifting between a series of treacherous rocks, all of which could ho...

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Outcry is all much Apu about nothing - my latest Sunday Express comment

Posted on April 29, 2018 at 8:20 AM


"Liberal luvvies reacted with outrage when a journalist had the temerity to suggest that casting black actor Leo Wringer as a 17th-century English squire was misjudged. 'Was Mr Wringer cast because he is black?' he wrote. 'If so, the RSC's clunking approach to...

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I'm officially an Oldie!

Posted on April 27, 2018 at 9:40 AM

I might have turned 50 a year ago, but I wasn't quite ready to admit I was an oldie. However today I can finally call myself one because my first piece, "employers who don't reply," has been published in the May 2018 issue of... The Oldie!

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My latest GIDSS Blog: The U.K. Wrestles with the Russians: Who Really Wins?

Posted on March 20, 2018 at 4:45 PM

"The suspected Novichok nerve agent attack on former Russian spy, Sergei Skripal, and his daughter, Yulia, on March 4th in the leafy town of Salisbury, England ha...

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My latest Spectator blog: the destructive culture of perfection

Posted on February 21, 2018 at 6:25 AM

"In the past week, two very different stories have highlighted our innate desire to generalise people, to raise t...

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My latest Spectator blog: Men and women of the world, unite!

Posted on February 7, 2018 at 2:10 PM


"I’ve worked in several warehouses unloading stock and I’ve also worked in supermarkets stacking shelves. I’d have to s...

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My latest Spectator blog: "In defence of extreme moderation"

Posted on January 23, 2018 at 11:00 AM


"Reading Melanie Phillips in this morning’s Times made me really cross. Nothing unusual in that – except I’m cross be...

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My latest GIDSS article: Who Are the UK Anti-Muslim Group, "Britain First"?

Posted on January 9, 2018 at 6:30 AM

“A tiny British anti-Muslim party called ‘Britain First’ benefitted from worldwide publicity at the end of 2017 when President Trump retweeted three videos purporting to show examples of Islamist violence. Closer scrutiny later proved th...

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"London's crime map tells a damning tale of two cities" - my latest Spectator column

Posted on January 6, 2018 at 6:55 AM

“It’s just a few metres from Bartholomew Court, EC1, where a young man was one of four stabbed to death over the...

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This Christmas, I'm standing up to Zoella: my latest Spectator blog

Posted on December 12, 2017 at 9:50 AM

“How would you feel if a gang of fabulously wealthy twenty-somethings kept appearing in your young daughter’s bedroom, telling her she̵...

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Hear me debating Brexit on Radio 4 with Zoe Williams and Paddy O'Connell

Posted on December 10, 2017 at 6:05 AM


This morning I was on Paddy O’Connell’s “Broadcasting House” to discuss Brexit with The Guardian’s Zoe Williams. Really enjoyed the debate, and hopefully we demonstrated it’s possible to have divergent views about the thorny subject without com...

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Guess how much my year of abstinence raised for Children in Need?

Posted on November 17, 2017 at 5:15 AM


Even though my year of abstinence ended a year ago, I kept my Just Giving page open up to today (17th November 2017) in the hope more people would donate to this incredibly worthy cause. In total, I received donations of approximately £322.30 – thank yo...

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